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Chris E. Caldwell

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I'm still here [Dec. 1st, 2013|09:22 pm]
Chris E. Caldwell
[Tags|, , , , ]

And I'm still queer, hey.

I guess this place is just about dead. I no longer journal. I have many empty leather bound books my mother put in my stocking for Christmas. maybe they'll be filled someday.

i do: write, perform, and work-- and those things are intrinsically combined, swirling together in this bath I've made for myself.

But I saw this place, and noticed that if I didn't write something before the end of the year, it'd be the first time not doing so since high school, so I figured why start that tradition of blankness?

So here it is. I honestly wish I could write more in this moment, but I'm not sure of the security features on this damn thing and there actually people in the interether that I don't want reading or discovering this earlier version of myself.

I will say this. I'm really happy I'm still giving the dreams a go.

Person Of The Day: John. He doesn't know this, or really know me that well at all, but I had a dream about him last time and it was very strange. We were corralling around his (and perhaps my own) workplace.

Runner Up: My parents, for a fun filled weekend in the bay. Erin, for being very special.

link1|Sparkle me!

trickle [Dec. 18th, 2012|03:09 am]
Chris E. Caldwell
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I sort of feel like I'm in the midst of a transformation. The feeling a snake might have when its shredding a coat of skin. It's not consciously brought on. Instead, it just happens-- and there is a morsel of your being that recognizes it as a natural occurrence. In one year, all will be different, guaranteed. I don't know where I will be or what I will be doing. However, I know I am built to meet and know people. 

P.o.d: Matt, for games. We were supposed to write together, and so brought on an entire night. 

runner up: Gabe, cause he's on my mind and affecting me somehow, not sure if for the better or for the worse. 

fruzzle [Dec. 1st, 2012|03:55 am]
Chris E. Caldwell
[Tags|, , ]

i don't think im witty enough. sometimes i look at the brains of others and im terrified. that's what they're like? people are that smart? witty? impressive? iv'e been going on, over and over again, a specific event of my adolecence. 5th grade. i approached a group of girls sitting on a bench and they suggested i sit with them; i decline, on account of my own lack of worthiness. pretty stupid. what inspired that? what occured before the 5th grade that set this in motion? 

i know many children across the world are too busy living to worry about the act of living. 

next room over, britney spears blares. i feel like im 18, and in a way, i am. in this specific moment, what has changed? 

how am i going to do this? how am i going to survive? i know i will, and i surmise that i should be excited about the prospect. however, i've never been the type to clutch the air and find presumptive gold. typically, i clutch the air to ensure i have it to breathe. 

gracious for a platform. especially one that extends into my youth. 

maitland can't find her glasses. she's drunk and can't find them. she is, therefore and especially, my person of the day. 

i assume that my followers here have moved on from this platform, as i have. if you haven't, and you're reading this right now, go outside and kiss a leaf. 

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Surreal. [Jan. 23rd, 2012|01:53 pm]
Chris E. Caldwell
[Tags|, ]

12 producers, writers, and cast members from SNL came and watched the show last night. I'm in a crazy world. 

Person Of The Day: Mitch Silpa, for being the best director ever. 

Runner Up: Courtney, for being an awesome SunCo gal. 

linkSparkle me!

Memmmmories. [Feb. 22nd, 2011|10:02 am]
Chris E. Caldwell
[Tags|, , ]
[Current Location |ABC/Disney Studios]
[Forecast: |awakeawake]

I'm 25 years old today. A quarter of a century. Over the gay hill.

I celebrated by reading old journals from when I first moved to Los Angeles. I am so unbelievaly grateful that I have records of that period of my life. I really managed to capture the naivety of my youth.

Speaking of which, my youth has pretty much left me now. Though, on the positive side, I'm now able to rent a car to chase after it, if I so desire.

Katherine is moving to New York. Soon. This will deeply affect my life. Putting it lightly. I'm sitting in the casting office, where I'm working as an intern during pilot season. It's been very educational. However, I'm not entirely sure I'd like to be here on my birthday. :)

Person Of The Day: Jenn, for new roommate bliss.

Runner Up: Katherine and Ben, for birthday love... For smoke bombs at night, and sparklers on the ground, too.
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In revvvvvvew. [Dec. 30th, 2010|10:29 pm]
Chris E. Caldwell
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Ah, 2010. Good loving, baby. Good loving. 

I joined SAG, realized it was water (both nothing and everything, depending on it's use). Went to Anza Borrego. Got dragged up and scared over 100,000 people. Jesus, that's a lot. Spent oh so many hours at the Groundlings, and performed on the stage there quite a few times. Spent time with my brothers. Missed SF pride for the first time since high school. Spent way too many hours working for Le Pain. Survived on my own. Passed two law classes. Loved my friends. Saw Disney on Ice. Yea. Performed on the main stage of the comedy store and almost passed out while holding the mic. Stand up... many places. Spent countless hours singing in the car. Saw some good musicals... which made me sing more. Cried some. Felt both loved and hated. Feared some. Felt both brave and terrified. Laughed many, many times. Drank alot. Too much, too likely. Missed friends. Painted. Tried to build a bike from scratch. Gave away a white rose at the house... Received a black one from Mr. Frank Stites. Listened to music. Helped host the short form gym. Saw some friends become celebrities. Laughed on top of a roof, drinking sangria. Went running and ran 3 miles solid! Did many, many pushups. Read a few good short stories. Started so many things that never got completed. Went to Disneyland. Bought a new computer and a new camera, but still haven't utilized either the way I intended to. 2011!!!! Met some amazing new friends who I absolutely cherish. Felt praised. Felt talented. Felt worthless. Felt too much. Felt like a pisces. Ha. Had some crazy dreams. Have some crazy dreams, still, in the real world. Looking forward to 2011... even though I'm a little afraid of it. 

2010 was a... acceptable year. Though, honestly, a little too forgetful, in part. 

New Years Resolutions. As 4 is my lucky number, I attempt to keep 4... If I only manage to keep 1, I figure I've still done better than most. 

#1. To be in a musical. This is, to be cast in a musical of some worth. Inherently, this means I must focus in depth on that long self-forgotten art and hone the skills. I can do this. Moreso, I believe I can be paid to do this. 

#2. Run & train multiple times weekly. I've been doing well, but now it's time to increase the initiative. Possibly join a gym, but only if I am truly committed to that process. 

#3. Produce my own material for youtube, on at least a bi-monthly basis. Stop dreaming and start completing. 

#4. Career. Get one. Seriously. Get a fucking career. It's 2011... You've got this. 2+0+1+1=4. 

And all of these goals are rooted in one thing. Chris, you know what this is so no need preaching it here. 


Person Of The Day: Grandma Kalinda, for wonderful music. 

Runner Up: Fellow who Laura, for toffee. Jenn, for being home. 

linkSparkle me!

Ben [Oct. 12th, 2010|07:43 pm]
Chris E. Caldwell
 Benjamin S. Wolff was planetised today, October 12th, at 7:30 PM, and bestowed with the element of Tigereye. For he sees what many cannot, like the tiger that sees in the dark. He knows talent, life, success, and joy... Like the tiger pounces, so does he, and like the tiger rests, ect...

Christopher Caldwell Eckert
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Thank you, Sofia... [Oct. 11th, 2010|12:15 pm]
Chris E. Caldwell
[Tags|, ]
[Forecast: |anxiousanxious]

 You've already watched the end of the movie. Now you just need to make it. 

Person Of The Day:  Sofia Gonzalez

Runner Up: Marcus Kaye, for much.
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knife, please. [Sep. 21st, 2010|12:44 am]
Chris E. Caldwell
[Tags|, , , , ]
[Forecast: |geekygeeky]

Hey, at least the gap wasn't a year this time. I have the unpleasant timing of attempting an update of this journal right before bed. Me so tired. Still, here I am, and like the little choo choo that could, I suspect I can too. 

Halloween Horror Nights is back. 3rd year in a row, and well, it's not like the first year. We'll see... I can remember my first time stepping onto the porch of the Bates house... Rocked my world. Now, it's familiar. I know it. In a truly deranged realization, it feels a bit more like home this round. Good to be back with friends. Want more, of course, but for now, this is good and I still can't believe I get paid to do it. 

I'm @ The Groundlings over 10 hours a week right now. A little insane, seeing as I defiantly do not get paid for this. Quite the contrary, actually. It is, however, amazing stuff. I've been in classes with Mindy Sterling (Frou from Austin Powers) and she'll be directing my improv buddies and I in a show this Sunday. 5 years ago, I would have been like WHATTT?!?!?! 

I might be getting called for Advanced in January. We'll see... When that starts, it doesn't stops... A bit like a water slide, and let's just hope there is a refreshing pool of water at the end of this one, and not asphalt. ;) 

School, full time right now. 12 units. I'm on it!!! 

There is a ... that I think is... and don't want to overthink it cause... is pretty... 

I have good friends. A nice home, albeit an often dirty one (katie). A good life. 

I'm actually very much looking forward to Grinchmas this year... Looking at some photos from last year, I'd forgotten what fun it was. 

Some of my friends are movie stars. A surreal thought, but every time I see a peer achieve something, it only confirms that I'm in the right place. Rewards come in all shapes and sizes. 

About a week ago, I got a fortune cookie. It said, "Your dearest dream will come true." I only write this because, if you knew my history with fortune cookies, you'd know that I'm more accustomed to "You are a nice person." or "Remember to smile." or "You are alive." ... Needless to say, I kept this one, and it resides safely inside my bug wallet. You heard me. My BUG wallet. 

Sleep now. Chris tired. 

Person Of The Day: Marcus, the cocktail onion... for being a cocktail onion, in the most positive sense. 

Runner Up: Jenn, my lovely sapphire, for movies and lunch. 

linkSparkle me!

miracle of the miles. [Jul. 25th, 2010|10:37 pm]
Chris E. Caldwell
[Tags|, , ]
[Forecast: |accomplishedaccomplished]

I just ran 3 miles up and down hills. This is a bloody miracle. I can safely say that I'm in better shape than I was in high school. The single mile test around the track nearly killed me in gym class. 

In other non-sensisituations...

The life-changing event that briefly mentioned failed to occur. Like so many things in Los Angeles, it's yesssss yesss yessss until your almost there and then one massive NO! The tortoise would have given up a long time ago if the race took place in Hollywood. Just saying.. 

I'm really trying to keep updating this. It's become beneficial for me to look back at my non-sense 4 years ago. There's comfort in knowing that I've always been thisssss crazy. 

Work today. Blah. 

Person Of The Day: Jenevieve, for being 9 months pregnant. Hell, she should be person of the year! 

Runner up: Pat, for all the work he's put himself through during the past few weeks. Michael, for helping me close the past couple of days. Annie @ groundlings, for inspirational words. 
link2 made me shiny!|Sparkle me!

Six something... [Jul. 18th, 2010|01:21 am]
Chris E. Caldwell
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[Forecast: |hopefulhopeful]


There is a thing... that could mean everything... in the moment. For a year, maybe two, could take me far, could expand my abilities. No word yet on it, but I'll likely find the results on Tuesday. Tough stuff, and I shouldn't have placed so much on it, but when things draw so near-- and the smell dances with your senses-- its quite hard not to. 

Worked today. Does drag, doesn't it... 3 days a week and I feel like it's killing me. Can't imagine the typical 5, and I hope that I never have to, let alone live within it. 

Two birthday parties today. Both were completely different. Wilder and Fernando. I'm glad I got to experience them... Makes me happy I live in LA.  

I went to 101 cafe this morning and ate eggs. I had Gazpacho for lunch. I had chicken curry for dinner. Needless to say, I eat well the days I work. 

Where is it, within me? Cause I know its there. 


Person Of The Day: Michael, for helping me close the Restaurant fast... and for the laughter at Birds afterwards. 

Runner Up: Katherine, for breakfast this morning. Wilder and Fernando; happy birthday. 
linkSparkle me!

LAprov. [Jul. 13th, 2010|12:29 am]
Chris E. Caldwell
[Tags|, , , ]
[Forecast: |enthralledenthralled]

Improv in the morning and the evening... If I ran as much as I do improv, I'd have 6-pack for sure. I suspect I have a 6-pack in comedy. Allllright. 

Performed at the comedy store for the first time this past Sunday. It was pretty awesome. The belly room was hungry, though, meaning it was pretty damn empty. Still, it was a fantastical set and I look forward to the new opportunities out there. Stand had been, for me, the most difficult form of comedy to jump into, and I'm proud of myself for doing it. 

I might be on abc prime-time, but not like you think. I can't really talk about it, but the opportunity it could potentially provide would be amazing. 

My parents just came back from England... Turns out I've inherited a coat of arms. That's pretty darn cool, especially seeing as I have such a keen interest in my family history. 

I love the people in my life. Katherine, Ben, Jenn, and all the others who I care so much about. 

I haven't gotten the call for Advanced yet, and I'm in no rush. I know once that starts, it won't stop. For now, enjoy the moment and work those comedy muscles out. 

My car has seen better days... I love my little BlueNote... It's been so good to me, and I've clocked around 60,000 miles on it and taken it deep into the desert twice. By the by, I'm still not positive on whether its desert or dessert, nor do I think I'll ever be. 

I love my family. I have so much respect for my father... His life... My goodness. If I experience a morsel of what he has in his life, I'll have had an amazing run. 

I went running tonight, and maybe that's why I've got so much energy right now. Need to calm it dowwwwn. Muahah! 

I get fitted for a Tux this Saturday. You'll know why soon. 

I love you all, and I love love. 


Person Of The Day: Katherine, for the amazing friend she has been and continues to be. I love her so much. 

Runner up: Sophia, for an amazing short form gym. Samantha, cause I basically saw her all day today. Maitlyn, my new neighbor for both being cool and having an awesome pup. 
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rare days and lack of rays in sunny LA. [Jan. 18th, 2010|10:59 pm]
Chris E. Caldwell
days like this, when the rain is coming down and everything is soaking and you'll be hit by a thousand droplets of water before you reach the car and the cars move slower and the people walk faster and everyone is fatter from all the coats....

they make me dream. they make me want to wrap myself inside a million warm blankets and go outside and hike a new treacherous murky terrain. at the same time. they make me want to draw emotion and paint expression and place them side by side before mixing them together. they make me want to blow my nose, only to provide me with an excuse to continue staying in bed, in the warmth, outside of the world of 'do this-iznes'... they make me want to slide over to a vintage movie palace and want a blockbuster while i guzzle down badness and then re-enter the cold gorgeousness. they make me want to do this, and that, and everything... but most of all, they make me want to do nothing at all.

and that is what I did. nothing. until I wrote this.

and I don't feel bad about it. so don't make me. ;)

Person Of The Day: Michael, just cause.

Runner Up: Katherine, for Pianist.
linkSparkle me!

having trouble with titles [Jan. 10th, 2010|12:09 am]
Chris E. Caldwell
[Forecast: |contentcontent]

I might have come up with a genius idea for selling a screenplay. The screenplay itself would be crap, but I'm sure I could sell it.

Work was horribly slow tonight. I made... let me count... no money. I watched a nice documentary about Antarctica this morning though, that more than made up for the crappy evening. At my restaurant, whenever there are new specials we servers get to try them... Needless to say, I ate about 6 entrees tonight and I'm not too proud. Nor is my stomach... In fact, I believe my stomach is more like WTF.

Pretty unproductive day. At least I finally got my desk.. It's like twice the size of my current one and thank goodness--- cause I need the space, baby.

If I followed through on 1 out of 100 of my ideas, I'd have so much. Need to start doing that. Oh look, a kitten!


Person Of The Day: The guy who helped me move my desk.

Runner Up: Toni, for work... not fun... but whatever it is.
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It takes... [Jan. 8th, 2010|04:46 pm]
Chris E. Caldwell
I mean, seriously, how much time and effort does it take to update this journal every couple of days? Shouldn't be impossible.

One week into 2010... Doesn't quite feel like it yet. Just a date, I suppose. So far, the resolutions are going well. Slipped up a bit with one today though... Missed an improv class I very much wanted to attend. Alas, you can't win em' all.

My body hurts. I went roller skating last night, for the first time since year 8. That shit kills you... See, I need more of that-- the type of activity that forces you to work out. I held that tight 'don't wanna fall, donnnn't wanna fall' pose for a good hour as a circled the rink over, over, and over again. It's a good way to get out of your head. I couldn't daydream out there, with the crisscrossing of the children, old folks and my own legs. I skated with Jenn, Caroline, and John and then we went over to his place afterward and played some serious Mario. I'm talking serious. I near destroyed my vocal chords from all the yelling... Mushroom... MUSHROOM!

I haven't felt funny lately. I haven't felt much of anything, to be honest. Every time I sit down to write sketch, I realize how out of the loop I am with society. I haven't watched television in 6 months. Yes glitter-grabbers, I have NEVER seen Glee. Overall, the non-death-box approach has been more positive than negative, but when it comes to writing sketch, TV is a great tool for satire. I mean, the 'extenze' commercials alone?! They're brilliant.

My head hurts. I'm supposed to start painting my room in an hour or so, and I'm dreading it more than a little bit. I've wasted the afternoon and I won't allow myself to waste the evening. Blue and green walls are heading my way.


Person Of The Day: Jenn, for an amazing night.

Runner Up: Caroline, for couples roller skating. Maya, for her journal--and the motivation it inspired.
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